This weekend my heart was filled with rainbows. I’m pretty sure a unicorn ran around in there too. The love that I received from my last post, Another month. Another period., lifted me higher than I was already. Every single message made me smile. Truthfully, I was overwhelmed by the responses.
I chose to be open about our baby-making journey for a couple of different reasons. First, not everyone is as open of a book as I am. Hubs shakes his head at my babble. A lot. I know what it’s like to struggle in silence, not wanting anyone else to have to shoulder your burden. These days everyone seems to be dealing with bigger issues. Cancer. Death. Child emergencies. Etc. I wanted to create a space where people felt comfortable sharing; or at least know someone else truly understands what they are going/have gone through.
Secondly, I was being completely selfish. It wasn’t until after each miscarriage that I told people we had been pregnant. I had followed the good ole, archaic rule of thumb: wait until the 12 week point before going public. While it’s always difficult to hear this type of news, I think it’s even more difficult for people to hear, “we were pregnant but we miscarried” all in the same breath. By telling people now that we are trying again, I am building my support team. I will need cheerleaders no matter what happens in this journey.
|Photo credit: The Power of Giving|
I found myself wandering in the bush this weekend, content. Permagrin. Yes, for those of you following me on twitter, even when the gawd damn pooch chased a ski-doo through the bush and was gone for more than 5 minutes I found myself at peace. Maybe it was all of the messages of encouragement and virtual hugs; knowing my cheerleaders are ready to give me a ra-ra when needed. Or maybe it was simply the fact that I shared what we are striving for and am not carrying the weight on my own anymore. No matter what the trigger was, this weekend true happiness took over my heart.
Sharon, who also commented on my last post, made me flashback to my early twenties like a trippy acid experience when she fittingly quoted a Sheryl Crow song: it’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got. So for now “I’m gonna soak up the sun …”
Tell me, other than wine, what makes you happy?0