it's all about me; inhale exhale repeat; christmas stress; stress of the holidays

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

Christmas: ’tis the season to be jolly. Bells are jingling. Ships are sailing. Facebook feeds are filled with Christmas baking recipes, holiday decorating ideas and pictures of families dressed in red and white all smiles. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

{throws head back in fits of laughter}

In my mind I desperately want all of that. To be those people with their magically transformed, magazine perfect homes that have been impeccably decorated ready to welcome guests at any hour. To be that host who will offer 17 different types of desserts that are works of art only pastry chefs create.  To be that Pinterest perfectionist who has beautifully wrapped presents under their tree that no one wants to open because they’re too pretty already. To be mother effin’ June Clever.

My reality looks slightly different. And my slightly I mean polar opposite.

it's all about me; christmas; stress of the holidays; christmas stressMy house is a disaster. You have to navigate the mudroom like an obstacle course, planning 4 steps in advance. There is an undecorated tree in the corner, two unwrapped presents on the island (I have 12 family members that I can think of to buy for) and an urn that looks more like a jungle than an inviting welcome piece.

Here’s the thing: I’m relatively calm. Popping Ativan chased by shots of vodka helps. It’s called Christmas Cheer. Really. You should try it. It’s my gift to you. Merry Christmas. Annnnnnd I digress.

While I want to create all of those fake perfect pictures I have accepted it’s not going to happen. We are freakin’ busy. And I’m okay with that too. Just because I still don’t know if my husband will travel this weekend (yes, I know it’s Thursday) or whether he’ll be here for Christmas (this is no different than any of the other 8 Christmases we’ve been together) doesn’t mean I’m going to freak out.

Hubs and I both work full-time. He’s in professional sports which demands long, long hours. I love my job and spend on average 10 hours per day in the office and two hours on the road commuting back and forth. Did I mention I am also that kid who needs a minimum of 8 hours of sleep per night? Every now and then I write in my little space on the interwebs (if you’re reading this, it means your cheque is in the mail). We both give back to our community in different volunteer capacities. It’s what we do. The few spare hours we have are precious and usually involve mind-numbing stimulating activities. Candy Crush Saga involves strategy, okay people?

I am happy with our crazy life. In fact I love it. We may be eating BBQed chickens from Costco and stuffing from a box for Christmas dinner next to a pile of needles handing out gift cards to ESSO but you know what? I wouldn’t change it.

Just remind me to inhale, exhale and repeat every now and then.


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