Nothing Compares 2 U

After more than a week I got to see my bestie today. While unfortunately it was a visit in the hospital, the fact is I got to see her. Yesterday her dad and stepmom picked her up from the Picton hospital. After a quick pit stop at home to see her boys, she was admitted to the General last night.

On Sunday she woke up with a small cut on her finger while at Sandbanks. Things got worse and soon enough she was admitted to the hospital, receiving antibiotics for the infection. We learned that Dani’s white blood cell count was super low so she wasn’t able to fight things off.

After a stop at FarmBoy to get some real food, I make my way to the hospital. I find her room and walk in. WTH? I’m pretty sure I’m staring at Sinead O’Connor.

By the time I got to the hospital, Dani was bald. Her head shaved. Over the last week her hair hard started to come out in clumps. She wanted it gone and I don’t blame her. Chemo had won this round.

She looks beautiful. Not everyone can pull off a shaved head but she can. It’s perfect. Baldness suits her. Seriously.

breast cancer; hair loss; sinead o'connor

Since leaving the hospital today I have had a knot in my stomach. It’s totally selfish on my part but I am disappointed (remember I vowed to express my feelings honestly in this blog so others could know their feelings are normal). I was shocked to walk in and find that her head had *just* been shaved. They knew I was on my way. In only a few minutes I would be there. I felt left out.

I’m not mad at anyone. I’m just disappointed. I would have thought that one of them would have said, “should we wait for Sarah? Maybe she would want to be a part of this.” I know that’s what I would have done. And not that this should matter but I am the one who took Dani wig shopping preparing for this moment.

I know everyone is focused on Danielle and that’s the way it should be. I think my emotions are even more out of whack these days due to my frustration and feeling unsupported at home. So when something like this happens, it just sucks.


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