This past weekend I pulled out all of my stealth moves and was a lifesaving ninja…at least in my own mind. For years I have listened to hubs talk about The Watchmen. He first saw them play with Spirit of the West during his freshman year of university. At least once every twelve months I hear the story. So when they played Ottawa Saturday night, we decided to head to the show. Like on a date. Well, if that’s what you call leaving the beast by herself and hanging out with friends outside of the house.
Hubs had put in another full day in the office. I actually can’t remember the last time he took a day off. Even while we were in Boston he would get up in the morning, laptop in hand and put in a few hours of office time. Oh, the joys of telecommuting.
Since I had had a crap week, was feeling stabby and anything but domestic, we headed out for grub. Doors opened at 8 pm so we assumed The Watchmen would go on around nine. Nine thirty at the latest. Or maybe that was our age screaming wishful thinking.
Somewhere around 10 pm a Megadeth-Foo Fighters-Me First and the Gimme Gimmes garage-sound took to the stage. Slightly confused to the battle-of-the-bands noise we were listening to, we made the best of it and predicted where each member would be a year from now. To the guitarist: if you need a sponsor for your near-future 12-step program, call me. I’m happy to help.
Thirty minutes of screaming and wishing I had brought earplugs (this is when I started to feel really old), they finished their set. A tweet from the venue followed shortly after saying The Watchmen would take the stage at 10:30; in other words 11 at the earliest.
By this point we were all yawning, learning against the wall. I yearned for the covers of my bed. Finally the lights dimmed and Daniel Greaves appeared.
The energy in the small venue was electric. After a few songs the air was muggy; infused with stale beer and Axe. Greaves had finished one of his a capella performances – Sweet Baby James. The band was leading into their next song when something was pressing the back of my head.
As my bubble was already invaded, I inched forward. That’s when the weight was on my shoulder and getting heavier. I turned my head enough to realize that I was holding hubs up.
My grade six baby-sitting CPR course training flooded my brain. Apparently when someone repeatedly scares the bejeezus out of you with the consequences of what could go wrong in an emergency, you remember what to do. Not that I was drooling like Pavlovian’s dog, but my survival instincts kicked in. Being almost twice what I weigh, I somehow eased him to the ground. Holding his head I instructed people to give us room. I was shockingly calm considering my husband was unconscious on the floor. Our buddy went for water.
While it felt like time was frozen, it was a matter of seconds before he opened his eyes. Confused, he insisted on getting to his feet. The pregnant woman next to us pushed over her chair – the only one in the venue. Just as he got seated he fainted again.
The security men at Mavericks were fantastic. They knew what questions to ask without making any assumptions. Was he diabetic? Had he eaten? Had he ever fainted before? By the time they brought ice for his neck to cool him down he was conscious again.
After downing a glass of water, The Watchmen played My Life is a Stereo. A little ironic as a verse in the song goes:
I like being here and I’m all hooked up wrong
Hang on to me though I’m one of a million
One of a million, one of a million
Please hang on to me
While disappointed to be cutting the show short, we both knew it was time for fresh air. On the way home we eased the situation by joking about the senior fairies scolding us for being out past midnight. As our good friend (who I am beyond thankful for) dropped us off at our car, there was no balking from hubs when I asked for the keys.
As he’s a boy, there was no convincing him to see a doctor…for now. We’ve self-diagnosed these spells and racked them up to exhaustion and dehydration. I spent the day getting my Martha-on in my nemesis, the kitchen. Believe it or not, I cooked. We now have a few days of iron & protein rich, gluten-free meals that will hopefully help restore hubs’ energy levels and keep hammie from freaking out in my head.
What to do if someone faints
If you’re not a certified baby-sitter and don’t know what to do if someone has fainted, here are a few steps to keep in mind:
- First and foremost, remain calm. Staying composed will help control the situation.
- If the person is collapsing, try to catch them and assist them to the ground. This will minimize further injury.
- Clear the area and ventilate with fresh air.
- Loosen tight clothing to help with breathing.
- If they do not regain consciousness immediately, try to wake them. Ask if they can hear you. If there is no response, call 9-1-1.
- Get them water, juice and/or food. The most common causes of fainting are dehydration and low blood sugar.
- Don’t let them get up to quickly.
- Stay with the person until they have fully recovered.
Have you ever had to help someone who has fainted?1