Late afternoon January 1, 2013. The sun is shining. I’m enjoying the peace and tranquility of my home. I waste the day getting lost in my thoughts.
Most people would think letting go of 2012 would be easy for me. But it’s actually bitter-sweet. While I absolutely wish my bestie wasn’t on this crazy ride called breast cancer, there have been some pretty amazing things happen through it all.
First, I have met some amazing people. Dani has lots of friends in different circles. Breast cancer has united some of these circles. I have met some of her work peeps in the past who I now call friends. Gina and Judy have been part of the backbone in Dani’s recovery. They are the type of women who every girl should have in their life – committed, fun, loving, generous and courageous. Why courageous? Because they didn’t run from the fear of the unknown and showed strength in the face of this pain.
I have grown as a person. Would this have happened otherwise? Maybe. Today I exhibit more patience than I did 8 months ago tho. Not just in my personal life but it has spilled over to my career as well. Now don’t get me wrong, I have a long way to go. I have learned that sometimes people need to learn the answers on their own or they don’t need to hear my opinion. ometimes you make a better friend just by listening.
I have embraced a healthier lifestyle. Again, I have a long ways to go but if you knew where I was before, you’d realize just how far I’ve come. Never in a million years did I think I would own a juicer. But thanks to the ladies above I am now part of the club. My version of cooking before: picking up the phone or going through the drive-thru. Today I pull things out of the fridge. I can tell you about pH levels and how to balance them on an alkaline diet. Yes, I just said that so pick your jaw up off the floor. I started running again. And am LOVIN’ it! Last night I was just a few seconds short of breaking the 30 min/5 km mark. Woot woot! I go to hot yoga once a week to help balance not just my body but my mind. Namasté. I go to therapy once a month (or more when needed) just so I can vent my feelings to a third party. I seriously recommend everyone do this.
I have had many “firsts” that I don’t know would have happened otherwise. I participated in Relay for Life…and made it the whole 12 hours. I had a sleepover with the boys…and survived! I took 4 straight weeks of vacation…and loved it I walked by Dani’s side at my first Terry Fox Fun…and was honoured to be there. I went to the Royal Agriculture Winter Fair with my mom…and realized how important family is. I skied 24H Tremblant for the Ottawa Senators Foundation…and am ready to do it again. I sat outside and purposefully let the snow fall on my face…and want to dance in the rain.
Most importantly I have learned what I want out of life. What “happiness” means to me. And it’s simple. It’s not a destination. I have to stop chasing it. I am most happy when I just love and accept all of the amazing things in front of me. My family. My friends. My furbabe. My career.
I discovered my love for music again and crank the tunes every chance I get. Loud. I dance like no one is watching. There may be a “Living Room Dance Party” playlist on my iPod now. tell people how I feel because without communication, how will they know?
I smile more. I do more. I listen more.
In many ways I am sad to say good-bye to 2012. But there are so many more amazing things to look forward to. Bring on 2013 – it’s going to be one helluva year for this chick!