Today has not ended the way I had intended. Throughout the day I made mental notes of the points to include in a light-hearted, amusing post (even if I was the only one laughing). It has ended in woe. As I write this with waterfalls pouring down my face, I’m hoping it will be a quarter intelligent. An eighth is probably more realistic though. Let’s go with an eighth.
As I left work the date hit me like a left hook from Sugar Ray: one month to the day of unexpectedly losing my #suckhole (read about my heartache here). And that was it. Tears pricked the back of my eyes.
I make it through traffic. As I aimlessly wander Costco desperately trying to remember what I am there, memories flood my soul. Images of our last day together lying in the vet’s office waiting for the inevitable, taunting me.
After checking out (twice because I can’t get my shit together), I head to Sobey’s. Emotions could no longer be buried and I find myself, cart in front of me, in the middle of a meltdown. Luckily the store is quiet and I escape without being noticed.
Be gentle on yourself.
I hear the words of a good friend. I remind myself that it is OK to hurt. It is OK to cry. I sit in the parking lot and cry. And cry. And cry. I finally make it home and have not stopped crying. Tonight I miss her deeply. I didn’t think it was possible for the hurt to still be as painful as it is.
I miss you princess. I hope there’s nothing but ice cream and treats and snow on the other side of rainbow bridge and that they know you need your own bedroom. With the pillows fluffed. xo