Is there ever a right time?

The other night the Sens played Buffalo. Dani and I went to the game. This is what I love about our friendship: from the minute she jumped in my car to the minute I dropped her off at the end of the night, we talked. And talked. And talked. The only time we weren’t talking was when we were cheering when Karlsson & Condra scored. See, I watch the games. Sort of. It was great to have one-on-one time with her. No kiddos. No hubs. No one else. Just us.

I planned on telling Dani at the game that I had actually followed through on My Bestie’s Boobies. After her diagnosis I told her I was going to start one. And I did. But I haven’t actually shared it with her, or even mention it to her again, as this journey has been about her, not me.

This blog became my outlet. Therapy in a way as I could express how I was feeling and just let things out and not be judged or offend anyone. I realized along the way that what I was writing though could be helpful to others. Cancer resources are mainly focused on the patient. I found it difficult to find anything related to the ups-and-downs the support team of someone diagnosed with cancer goes through.

For those reasons I have written honestly. From the heart. Writing so that others may read this, go “yes! I feel that way too” and know that they’re not alone. Writing so I could yell and scream but not hurt anyone with my words.

Before I can hit “publish” I need to actually tell my bestie about this blog and let her read it. It’s only fair. After all, it is about her journey. I’m just the passenger. For a second time in as many weeks, I held back telling her.  

Like I mentioned we talked a LOT at the game. At one point we got talking about a blog we have both read written by a now cancer survivor. Dani commented that while she circumstantially related to this woman she found her posts a bit negative. And that’s when I knew. Now is not the time.

I’ve written about the good, the bad and the ugly. The posts aren’t all full of rainbows and butterflies. I ‘ve had hate-the-world-days and I wrote about ’em. So, once again, the timing wasn’t right to tell her about “My Bestie’s Boobies”. Not yet.

There has to be a good time to tell her. Right?


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